all these precious moments...

as usual.. i'm still awake.

nv go anywher today.. except supper at M.Sultan der for Bah Gut Teh.. e food der is still okay.e soup taste betta as compared to the meat n you tiao.. lol. it've been ages since i last STEPPED into M.Sultan.. reminds mi of e past.. where e road is crowded wif "youngsters".. now its so damn quiet..

well talkin bout e past.. i noe i do not haf a very "glamourous" past.. as in i noe i wasnt a gd gal. stealing n stuffs etc. got a few ex bfs, flings or wadeva.. ITS ALL IN THE PAST.. sometimes i wish to share my past to my boy whenever we passed by somewher or wad.. but he'll always claim dat i'm such a flirt in the past?? why my hp namelist got so many guys no?? why everything i do involve guys?? sorry,i do not noe how to ans these qns.. But everyone got their own pasts.. why shld u dig it out n make a fuss out of it. i got my own way of living few yrs back cant i?? and so wad if i noe alot of guys in e past?? i dun tink its alot.. i mean excuse me cant u say i'm sociable?? at least i never did anything wrong when i got a boyfriend rite.. so i wondered if i shld erase my past or kip dem in my heart.. now,i find dat my circle of frens is getting smaller.. haa of cuz i dun mind.. i got my love ones wif mi.. my besties frm sec sch n some polymates.. in life, der are sure loads of passers-by.. and dats wad makes life.. oh ya, getting caught for stealing is indeed veri memorable for mi, aggy n rach.. but at least we learnt our mistakes n im sure we wun ever do it again?

i dun reali care how others judges mi actuali.. becuz dey do not noe mi.. so wad if i look lyk ah lian or wadeva shit.. is becuz dey do not noe my personality.. haha and hello now is wad century alr?? Does "ah lian" dis word still falls on mi?? sad to mention i'm goin to be 20 soon:( Yes, goin to say gdbye to the "TEENS" .. cant imagine i'm gg to be a grown up.. and financially-independent in future.. i'd to bear all my expenses myself.. needless to say, i dun tink i'm veri pretty oso. well i admit i dun tink i'm ugly too la.. i'm average or perhaps above average?? truthfully, i reali envious those with a veri gd complexion.. about features wise i do not haf any complaints cuz we're all borned wif it.. unless i go for plastic surgery lol. I hate to be compared wif others but i tend to compared myself wif others in my heart.. oh pls who wish to be lose out to others.. i do feel inferior at times too..

And i can say i got a reali bad temper.. well perhaps my frens wun realise dis.. becuz i seldom lose my temper in front of my frens.. pls dun ask mi why. i dunno e ans oso.. e onli pple dat i'll lose my temper on are my boyfriend and my family.. okay, i do guilty after i throw my tantrum esp to the boy. i do not know why my mood fluatuates so fast.. i can be happy at one moment and pissed off at the moment.. i guess i can get angry over very tiny stuffs?? i admit i'm petty.. but at least i dun bear grudges (haha i tink so).. seriously i hate myself for this la.. cuz i tent to spout hateful words whenever i'm angry.. how i wish before i lose my temper. e world can stop for few min to let mi cool down first..

Up till now.. i'm still pondering whether my decision to study in SIM issit correct nt. cuz e fees is reali high la.. and at my age (some even younger) lots of pple are alr in the society working and earning money.. but MI?? feel kinda useless la.. everyday wake up late, go out. come home, slp late den wake up again.. e routine goes e same for mi everyday.. Money is impt and of cuz i love money too.. who dun rite?? i oso wish i can earn money now.. no nid to rely on my parents anymore.. sometimes when i take money from dem.. i feel so shameful.. isnt it time for mi to earn money n gif dem?? i wish to carry branded stuffs too... LV wallet, Gucci handbags.. omg.i noe i sound materialistic.. And pls stop saying i love to haf car to fetch mi here n there.. who dun??

Sorry, i noe its a long and emo entry.. i cant help it too.. I seriously wish for a more meaningful life.. Anyway, i'm craving for "waffles with ice cream" haha..

The sky is bright now.. time to slp:)